Proposed Risk Rules
Last night I stayed up too late playing Risk with a few friends. If you have to ask why I did this, well… I, I just don’t know what to say to you.
The only down side was that this was “new” Risk, picked up by one of my friends on clearance at Target. The map seemed a bit smaller (fewer territories per country or something) and the Australia-South America connection was gone, though I can’t say for certain this isn’t how the board was originally. Also, the little soldier, cavalry and artillary pieces were replaced by arrows and slightly larger arrows. Also, it offered something about objectives. I won’t claim to have read the rules about this, but what’s the point of Risk if you can win without complete domination of your opponents?
Naturally, this stunting of the game’s spirit lead to the topic of custom rules. The first mentioned was that if any attacking player rolled a triple 1, he or she immediately lost the entire battle and all their troops except the one occupying force in the attacking country. Let’s call this the Polish Army Rule, in which rolling the triple 1 is the same as one of your soldiers chucking the pin instead of the grenade.
From here, this only got better with the following proposed rules:
The “Accurate Population Growth” rule – Starting from the first turn, whoever controls either India or China gets one extra troop on that space every five turns.
The “Kamchatka Sucks” rule – Instigated by a few unlucky dice rolls, it would seem that no units actually want to live in Kamchatka; something to do with the freezing temperatures, lack of any global relevance, and being constantly referred to as the “Palin end” of a once mighty empire. It’s degrading. So rather than defend any attack, just claim catharsis and chuck any units stationed there into the trash at the first sign of danger.
The “Damn You Mongolians” rule – Similarly based on peculiar dice rolls, in this case lucky ones, anyone attacking mongolia immediately looses one unit. They are also banned for life from any Mongolian theme restaurant, BBQ or otherwise.
The “RED” rule – After every three turns in which someone controls Africa, they roll one dice and loose that many units from countries in Africa. If someone controls North America, every 25 turns they roll one dice and give the player that controls Africa that many of their units. The player that controls North America can instead decide to go get the player that controls Africa a drink instead.
The “Berserker Attack” rule – If, when attacking, you roll a triple 6, you instantly wipe out as many units as you are attacking with. If this is more than the defending country has, you can continue taking units away from countries directly behind the one you are attacking. The attacking player also has the option of yelling in the face of the defending opponent.
The “Hand of God(s)” rule – Remove any units hit by rolled dice.
The “Zombie Apocalypse” rule – This one takes a bit more work. From the start of the game you need to keep track of how many units are lost in each country. Then, on the 50th turn, if no one has won, place markers on the board for all units lost. Each player must then defend their territories against this mindless, flesh hungry force. If any player survives, they win… but is it truly victory to remain the last one alive in a world decimated by war, greed, and populated by only himself and swarms of the undead?